Satire

. A Hero in My Head Though never even in the war he loomed A hero there.  At least in my blond head, Our father braved it out where Jap planes zoomed And zapped his buddies.  All but him were doomed To bit part deaths bespattered with blood red. Though...

. Kill or Cure? “The art of medicine consists of amusing the patientwhile nature cures the disease.” ---Voltaire . Possible Side Effects: May cause lacerations to lobes of the brain__Or clusters of pustular zits,Neuritis, cystitis, abdominal pain__And gaseous doses of squits.Stop taking if aching and waking at night__With loss of...

. Americans in Florence Ooo David! Whoa, you’re well-hung! But why a foreskin, underslung? Your left hand, do you hold a sling or dead Goliath's severed thing? Stop giggling, girls, show some respect. You know we all must genuflect before Great Art. Meh, this is slop. C’mon, let’s go, we’re...

. 'Twas the Day After Christmas ‘Twas the day after Christmas. Mom went to the store To return all her presents and gift herself more. The stockings still hung on the big mantle there, While she was out shopping with nary a care. The children were playing with their Christmas...

. The Interview “Respect my grammar rules or else,” K said, “This interview will be extremely short. Or better yet, I’ll summon you to court.” My pulse raced. I could feel my face turn red. K said, “Respect my pronouns: ‘It and Them.’ My genderqueer identity’s protected. My tats, my...

. Song of the Sophist a pantoum I tiptoe past all that is true--- The facts never matter to me. My aim is to wheedle and woo. I peddle malarkey with glee. The facts never matter to me. I fib as I fox and digress. I peddle malarkey with glee....

. Journalists Live in a Fantasy World If you like fiction, then turn on the news. You will hear journalists giving their views. Facts are conveniently pushed to the side; Truth becomes something that they may deride. Journalists live in a fantasy world: Lies are their truth while dumb insults...

. Sharpton He talks his walk and walks his talk and then He walks his talk and talks his walk again. The walk he talks goes nowhere I can see. The talk he walks seems jabberwock to me. But everybody thinks his talk is grand And make him rich by...

. Homemade Halos---An Election Reflection “Celebrity endorsements say a lot: they say you’re a liberal, an elitist, and a cultural progressive,” Mr. O’Reilly said. “An Oprah or Clooney endorsement is the kiss of death in large swaths of the country now.” ---from “Old-School Celebrities Could Not Move the Needle," New...

. When Fervid Female Stoops to Folly after Goldsmith’s “When lovely woman stoops to folly” When fervid female stoops to folly and starts insisting she is male, proclaiming that she’s Paul, not Polly, she’s bought a lie beyond the pale. Can happiness stem from such a fable? No. Bodies are...

. Black Friday Before Christmas Many of the stories are real ones from the Internet. ‘Twas the month before Christmas right after Thanksgiving.I ate lots of turkey. I really was living.I decided to go to the big shopping mallTo buy gifts in advance that would this year enthrall.The parking was...

. The Ballad of Mark and P’Nut The lamp is lit, computer’s on, __My coffee has been brewed. I scroll to find the harrowing tale, __The story millions viewed. At twelve o’clock, October’s end, __A rap upon the door, Mark opened it and six armed men __Tackled him to the...

. A Colossal Event of Avoidance “This is a colossal event of avoidance not just in the state of Florida, but you will find avoidance in the Carolinas.” ---Marn’i Washington, FEMA Supervisor, November 11, 2024 A colossal event of avoidance occurred when a storm came and went causing damage unheard...

. Saint Andrew My Uncle Andrew lived his lifeInflicting others pain and strife.‘Twas always said by mother dear“No good shall come of it, you hear!”He’d swill the hooch and whop his wifeOr kids within an inch of life.From trollops he would not abstain,Howled at the Pastor with disdain.These tales I...

. Feeding the Alligators The orange king of lava tongue has won. He sings a spangled song that rings throughout A plundered land where dreams and gold once sprung. He's here to nourish hope and conquer doubt. The bullet-bitten boomerang is back. The cackle of the camel is no more....

. Voting Advice When we vote in each election,few with brains will ever run.So, when we make our selection,we elect a simpleton. When a massive problem’s brewingthat can tear apart the state,since they don’t know what they’re doing,they will always obfuscate. They’ll create a new Commissionthat will study things to...

. Hey Gen Z, There’s a Huge Inheritance Coming Your Way Inheritance? What could it be? __A house? A yacht? A jet? No way. It’s much, much bigger. __It’s called the National Debt. The debt is 35 trillion plus. __An upward trend is clear. We add at least another trillion...

. The Knucklehead Defense If you’ve implied that you have fought in war,but meant your statements more as metaphordesigned so you’ll appear to be less lame,the Knucklehead Defense will clear your name. If you are ever charged with DUI,and you’re a Democrat then you can lie.There is no need to prove...

. Sonnet 83 A thankless task. You churn them singly out. They’re ordered chronologic’ly. And when someone asks idly what they’re all about, you can’t avow a single theme. But then you add as afterthought, “I like being arch”--- you’d think wit travels on iambic wheels. Alas, the modern earnestness...

. Not So Grand Poo-bah Middle brother with lesser brain, Descended from the killer Cain. More grasping man you never saw, Believes he is the Grand Poo-bah. He flew down south to get his Dad, But he was not a thoughtful lad; Gained the Will through sheer chutzpah, Controls it...

. Contemporary Logic Tattoos were blanketing her skin, Pierced everywhere, objects put in, Eyelash extensions, purple-haired, “I love my body,” she declared. . . Stolen Land I heard two liberals talk at length About the theft of native lands, And what a shame it was that strength Determined how it...

. Mother Government We modern people don’t believe that pointless rituals relieve the crushing angst felt deep within, that we once thought was caused by sin. But Mother Government has shown to all of us that she alone has what it takes to intercede and give us what we truly...

. The Waste Land: 2028 You said you loved her---everything about her---Her color, accents, laugh, that she was woke.Her joy outweighed all duty and was louder!America, you said, should go for broke.You shrugged when unelected politiciansAll propped her up like Stalin’s politburo.You wanted a divorce from white patricians,To socialize the...

. It Must Be True In The Jungle Book Kipling describes the “Bandar-log”—the monkeys of the Seeonee Jungle—whose scatterbrained chatter is epitomized by their slogan, “We are great... We are the most wonderful people in all the jungle! We all say so, and so it must be true.”  She’s wonderful,...

. Carcinoma The NHS, though poised and calm, Have so far done no hurt or harm, Towards this cancer on my arm. They saw it there a month ago, And told me it would have to go; Since then I’ve sat and watched it grow. Maybe they’re planning what to...

. Political Musings . While bumbling Biden’s basking on the beach, The Donald’s dodging bullets in the breach. . Abortion this, abortion that—it’s 24/7; But not a word about the smash and grab at 7-Eleven. . Kamala never mentions God, Or faith, or Jesus Christ. How odd. . While Secret...

. The Fool Astrology has always left me cold (As cold, at least, as interstellar space); The lines along my palm can only trace The rate at which my hand is growing old. My observation of the Ouija board Says spirits of the dead should learn to spell; And, much...

. Send in the Clones Year One. Computer, help me make this switch! This lab is now my church. Advance my mission: To nail the science for my sex transition! Frustration makes me positively twitch--- I scratch and scratch but still can’t get that itch. A swirl of chic mascara,...

. The British Museum The best sources repeat it, unending, For the scholars in every lyceum: Many art works, of nations unlending, Can be found in the British Museum. There are statues and weapons and baskets, Which could fill the entire Colosseum; Plus, amphoras and armor and caskets. All are...

. The Chief Baker Responds to Joseph "And Joseph answered and said, This is the interpretation thereof: The three baskets are three days: Yet within three days shall Pharaoh lift up thy head from off thee, and shall hang thee on a tree; and the birds shall eat thy flesh...

. Something in the Water The swimmer had removed her clothes, __Then turned and gave a wail, For in the dressing room there was __A biologic male. Man’s voice, broad shoulders, 6 foot 4, __With men he could not win. But then the college gurus __As a woman let him...

. California Meme-ing ---on Gov. Newsom's recent ban of AI deepfake memes The perilous and puckish AI fairy Has magicked mocking memes so sharp they've shocked Grand Guvnor Noos'em---spoofs have proved so scary His poison pen has got this scoffing blocked. Just like the wondrous works of finest fiction These...

. Let’s Laugh at Leftists with a nod to Joseph S. Salemi Step right up and see the freaks, Who call sane values mere antiques! Hear them weep and moan and whine When you won’t ape the party line! See the clowns: “transgendered” males Who grow their hair and paint...

. An Awkward Endorsement on Putin's recent endorsement of Kamala Harris for president There's no disputing, Putin's put the boot in. In rooting for Ms. Harris, he has sent The press into a tizzy. Now they're shootin' For reasons to declare Vlad's backing bent. How dare this cunning, Trump-adoring chump...

. Where Virtue Dies In the city of Washington, where virtue dies in the immoral sewage as it putrefies, those who tell the most brazen, despicable lies, and accumulate sound bites that self-aggrandize, trade their souls in for power that they exercise for their personal profit, to no great surprise....

. Married to the Mob He’s going out again today. What for? His hundredth chance to settle some old score? “Damn this! Screw that! Free cash! Free hash! More war!” It seems some things just never change, Maxine. He grabs a spear or full-armed magazine And boasts his protests cure...

. Stolen Valor ---a poem in unheroic couplets Osama used his wives as human shields When being hunted down by Navy Seals; Bruce Ismay engineered Titanic’s fail Then slipped into a lifeboat ‘neath a veil. When Jefferson Davis faced Union duress He stole away in makeup and a dress. In...

. Lucifer’s Lament They’ve gone too far. They’ve set the bar So high that I’m no longer star Of My own show. Their hellish plot Has hurled Me from the hottest spot. Their claims of care are thin as air. They castrate all the boys who dare To think in...

. Regime Change Banana republics are known for how they Take power from rulers and give it away To those who the country’s Deep State might prefer— Regardless of whether the people concur. Regime-change transitions can sometimes seem deft, While behind the scenes it’s more rightly called theft. And like...

. Back-Door Pastoral Apologies to all you urbanites, To decent people who prefer to live Amidst the noise with far too many lights, Who find it much too easy to forgive The traffic and the mendicants who claim They have no home.  I’m saddened to announce That swamps and urban...