Satire

. A Valedictorian’s Address at Harvard, about Claudine Gay written at the request of Brian Yapko, and in deepest appreciation of Chris Rufo, who broke this story wide open We’re gathered here to say goodbye to Harvard’s precious flower— The moving trucks are ready to clear out her little bower....

. Symbolic Expression As polar opposites these days,The liberals and conservativesExpress opinions different ways. They rarely ever are in sync,Since Liberals always say “I feel…,”Conservatives start with:  “I think….” . . Out Of Order When life interrupts my routines,It then is a rather good bet,That such change of regimen means,Some things...

. Woke Christmas We dream of Christmas like we used to know, With Santa Claus and sleigh rides in the snow, Big families all together, super-sized, But leftist thinking has metastasized And each says, “Season’s Greetings,” like a parrot, And Frosty’s a snow-“woman” with a carrot. School bullies are excused...

. Goodwill Toward Men I’m reeling with the latest headline shock. The Mother of our Savior’s hit the skids. Her reputation’s on the chopping block--- Her wonder isn’t woke enough for kids. The pope has spoken. Mary’s dated traits Don’t represent the women of today. He claims the writing’s on the pearly gates---...

. Love Nibbles and Bites He saw she was sad; deep inside, he was glad. He smiled, quite mild, and said, “My dear child, you once were beguiled by a love that seemed wild and yet, you’re no fool, so please let me step in to those places where someone...

. Here We Go Again… by Joseph S. Salemi Oh dear… it looks like the hillbilly software salesman is having another moral fit. Michael R. Burch of Nashville Tennessee has posted more venomous comments about the SCP and Evan Mantyk at his superannuated poetry-and-soft-porn website. Burch seems to be obsessed...

. The Anarchist’s Wish “all the great men in the world and all the nobility could be hanged, and strangled with the guts of the priests” __---Jean Meslier, French “Priest” (1664–1729) “And the guts of the last priest, let's strangle the neck of the last king” __---Denis Diderot, French “Philosopher”...

. Fartgates: Of Biden and Kerry That climate crap (no pun intended)They’re pushing is so much projection,A bellywash that’s open-endedFrom an open-ended nether-section. The gasbags blather on and let ’erRip—long, loud, and hard to ignore,And it’s their odor to the letter,Alas, they’ve dealt us evermore. . . Cozy with Chicoms Chicoms:...

. A Harvard Education Who dares to say that Harvard in The present situation No longer is a purveyor of A top-notch education? Why even its own President Just now was taught to deem Free speech of great importance when Jew hatred is the theme. . . Russel Winick recently started...

. Greta Thunberg Meets the Emerald Queen Part II of "The Emerald Queen: A Legend from the Future" One day through the forest leaves wafted her song, Attracting a young girl who wandered along, Who loved to go walking in nature and so She followed the voice and had no...

. Unsocial Addictions Why do some people lie, brag, or act mean?It must pump them up, like a jolt of caffeine.But soon they come down, right to where they have been,And can’t get back up, till they do it again. . . Sex Education One morning in our classroom for...

. If You Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter If solidified oil with chemical clutter That helps it look yellow and tasty to eat Makes you think there’s no need to believe it’s not butter, You believe in modernity’s biggest deceit. If you think things can just be replaced with a...

. You Might Be a Leftist Liberal Democratic Clone You might be a leftist liberal Democratic clone, If you think someone else should pay your student loan. You might be a leftist liberal Democratic jerk, If you get paid for protesting and not for work. You may be that one...

. A 2023 Survival Villanelle for Potentially Contentious Thanksgiving Gatherings Keep dinner chatter chirrupy and perky. Don’t prod the pachyderm that plods the room. Thank your candied yams you’re not a turkey. Stay cool when you hear tosh that’s crass and quirky, Like blokes lactate and fellas have a womb....

. Interrogation at the Grassy Knoll: November 22, 1963 Who are you guys? We’re from the CIA. And you? I’m Lucien Sarti from Marseilles. What about you swarthy types? Who, us? We’re Cuban exiles, and we won’t discuss The reason why we’re here. And how about you? I’m sent by...

. Wishful Thinking The “investigation” widens of the traitorous crimes the Bidens __are and have been guilty of for years, As liberal scum like CNN attempt to save his ass again, __he’s grappling with his family's greatest fears! What he's done for all this time, thriving off his life of...

. Fungible Assets A pint’s a pound the world around. Now, lay your oars athwart the gunwales And let your aching muscles get some rest. Relieving strain on carpal tunnels, Your doctor says, is always for the best. What use, my friend, is all the rowing When final destinations are...

. Assorted Sonic Salads (i.e., Kamalisms) being the first installment of a repository of wisdom from the Vice President of the United States of America. Edited by Jeff Kemper . Space! Exciting insight cited from a speech at the Vandenburg Space Force Base in Vandenburg, CA on 18 April 2022...

. Free Press Our founding fathers fought the fight __to conquer tyranny. Once won, the Congress met to write __new laws to keep us free. They knew that governments all gained __voracious appetites. To keep that appetite restrained, __they passed the Bill of Rights. Of all our rights, the single...

. Israel: A Leftist's Guide Hamas atrocities? Don't say a word,To point them out would be an act of treason.A level playing field? Don't be absurd.Make sure your slogans take the place of reason. Remember: Israel's name is always mud.The Jewish state must always be to blame.When ayatollahs scream for...

. Treasure in Heaven "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."  ---Matthew...

. The Democratic Party Dressed for Halloween The Democratic Costume Party is held on Halloween With Hillary as Jezebel, the dangerous sleazy Queen. Joe Biden comes as Dracula, the vampire looking flushed, Who tries to take a bite of every female neck he touched. Kamala is a stringed Pinocchio with...

. Mike Burch Still Around? Good Lord, No… with apologies to J.C. Squire’s Ballade de l’Évolution Créatrice Strange beasts have gone to their reward— The snaky Gorgon and the Sphinx, The centaurs and the satyr horde, The Cyclops with his foetid stinks. A backward glance through time, methinks, Reveals such...

. Excusing Evil A peaceful protest just took place, and some unlucky people died. Hamas just wanted more air space where at-risk kids could paraglide. As their kids soared, they saw a crowd, and they were frightened to their core. The pulsing music was so loud, it brought past trauma...

. The Life of the Party The commissar, in his most common clothes, Patrols the margins of their conversations, And tries to feign that cheer which he so loathes, But is too cluttered with recriminations To offer more than trite regurgitations Of the most tedious new orthodoxies. Instead he listens...

. Be Careful What You Ask For “Genie, please make me a banana split.” Poof! “You are a banana split! Just feel yourself sliced down the middle. Doesn’t it feel cool, dear Tony? I’ve thrown out the peel, and now that slit is widened by three scoops of rich vanilla ice...

. The Truth about Fall Colors  I am October’s most submissive bitch, And just when I believed I’d struck it rich, The gold that hovered overhead was blown Away before I’d claimed it for my own. And now the maples turning scarlet red Will shed their leaves on every flower...

. Avoidance I don’t sign up for group Zoom calls __With folks I know are boorish. I don’t go visit galleries __Where art is amateurish. I don’t make plans which likely will __Cause me to have to wait, At my expense for people who __Repeatedly are late. I loathe when...

. Words of Wisdom  “The only true wisdom is knowing  you know nothing.” ---Socrates She knows the what. She knows the why. __She knows the when and where. Her tireless tongue will testify __She knows the foul from fair--- A lofty boffin strutting tall, This knowing crower knows it all. He knows the how....

. A Petless State after Katherine Philips' A Married State, 1664 A house with pets affords but little grace. The best of dogs or cats destroy the place. Note when you visit friends you can detect foul odors, hairballs, housekeeping neglect. A petless state insures all’s calm and clean. It’s...

. A Leftist Rebukes Hamas Hey, Hamas, you silly dolts, You need to mow down more adults. Keep fighting for your patch of sand, Since Jews do not deserve the land, But chopping off their babies’ heads And slashing children in their beds? You really need to be more subtle;...

. Autumn in Pennsylvania in 2023 In response to Susan Jarvis Bryant’s poem on "Autumn in Texas" If Autumn is a bummer down in Texas, Up north it casts forth some contrasting hexes. Fall has befallen us in Bill Penn’s Woods We feel the reel of summer’s passing goods Run...

. Homage to the Cultural Contributions of Native Americans Columbus bumped into this wondrous land— Out of his ships came a little band To offer up thanks on the golden sand. Chris found three things that can wreck your brain, Each one endemic to this domain: Tobacco and syphilis and...

. Uninvited Guest A man came by my house one day. I smiled and said he couldn’t stay. He smiled right back and said “OK,” but then he didn’t go away. Instead, he walked right through my door and put his clothes inside a drawer. He took the room least...

. The Number 235: The Fall Sludge in extremis  ‘Twas on the 235 at Feltham Station, It happened in the very recent past, That Sludge began to think about salvation And how he really ought to find it fast. While gazing blankly at the floor below him A figure in...

. Not Alexa's President a pantoum on the news story here “The real risk with AI isn't malice but competence.”  —Stephen Hawking Alexa says election fraud took place. She says the 2020 vote was stolen. Alexa’s cyber eye upon the case Found numbers bungled, skewed and spun and swollen. She says the...

. Late Changes Though older people may proclaim __That they intend to change, One should by no means find it strange __If they remain the same. . . Reunion Conversations with dear, old friends sharing Key details on what life’s come to be, Which soon put a firm end to...

. Victimhood & Narcissism . I. The Joy of Grief “To have a grievance is   to have a purpose in life” ---Alan Coren I bleat and beef with no relief. The joy of grief has served me well. I’m exultation’s ardent thief. I scowl and shout and howl and pout....

. Regional Biases We’ve all eaten dinners on china, But China’s now eating our lunch. A supper in South Carolina Is home-cookin’, I have a hunch. . . Sexual Preferences Though a prince may turn into a frog, And a cat can make sounds like a dog, For as long...

. Joey’s Doomed! The investigation widens of the traitorous crimes the Bidens __are---and have been---guilty of for years, As liberal scum like CNN attempt to save his ass again, __He’s grappling with his family’s greatest fears! What he's done for all this time, thriving off his life of crime, __clearly...