Satire

. Civics 101 Jejune excuses used too many times Do not undo the doer from the deed: A miscreant accused of many crimes Is not the type of model children need. A partisan devoted to a cause Who votes his party, never mind the man, Should not complain when his...

. Eulogy for a Them We gather here to celebrate a him Or her (an it? a they?) and in the end A prophet of the present who could bend Reality to suit their loosest whim. For whatsoever they had been or might Have been, they were their own priority;...

. Born in a Wuhan Lab Newsflash: U.S. Energy Department says it was probably a lab leak. Those men in suits and labcoats thought it worth The lives of millions from their ivory tower To falsify the truth about my birth Lest China lose its influence and power. The masks,...

. Bite Your Tongue If you should feel the sudden urge __To put forth your opinions, Letting sundry thoughts diverge __To influence the minions. Just take a moment to reflect __On whether to opine, Or shut-up and inject __Another soothing anodyne. If you should find yourself about __To state your...

. Willy Wonky on the revision of Roald Dahl’s works  The whacky wokester clowns employed at Puffin Are wrecking classics with exciting stuff in. They’re ditching all the derring-do and dark (The spunk and spark and funk and quirk and snark) For noggin-numbing, glum and humdrum dross That doesn’t make despotic critics cross. They’re swapping all that’s riveting and peachy For joyless crap that’s sappy, flat and preachy: Chocolate factories free from nuts and dairy, Aunties that aren’t spongy-spiky scary, Oompa Loompas tolerant and tall, No one ugly, beastly, fat or small. Next will be the...

. The Reagan with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe Once upon a long and weary voting day with chances dreary for a quaint and curious choice, a nominee we all adore; while I gauged the sense of voting, suddenly I heard some gloating as of someone sugarcoating memories of years...

. Troll   "Be like seeds; do not see dirt thrown at you as your enemy, but as ground to grow." ---Matshona Dhliwayo A witch! A witch! Let’s hush the wicked witch!     His spleen slid through the ether like a snake. He hissed his pissy, pietistic pitch. This carper had a vicious thirst to...

. The Chinese Spy Balloon From that balloon botch I’m most wondering, Why Biden stalled to shoot it from the sky. Was it more fecklessness and blundering, Or might some hidden issue underlie? Did hearing it arrived illegally, Make Joe think the balloon was just a boat, With cargo hoped-for...

. Odysseus Begs? He’s leaning on a Pluto niche machine: an ATM, balanced on his good leg— a fresh appearance in an ancient scene— a bandaged hand gropes slowly out to beg. Was he Odysseus, sail raised to breeze, carving current never plied before? Herodotus, or old Diogenes? Or mad...

. Today Australia has announced that it will roll out a fifth dose of the Covid shot later this month. . Fat Cats and Lab Rats  The fat cats began with a scam of a plan To shame every pestilent spreader--- Lab rats galore are jabbed sore and then more....

. Fear for the Future When I ponder the future I get so distraught For the Leftists control Most production of thought. . . To Better Protect Democracy The WAPO and the New York Times Should move all their reporters, Into the Democratic Party’s National headquarters. . . Loss of...

. Church Mice a sonnet corona  There is a tale that’s writ in German history. A church was passed each Sunday by a train. Its death-knell whistle blew as it flew swiftly To Hell as stricken souls shrieked out in vain. These yells were muffled by the lusty singing Of...

. Carnivore Picks a Fight and Vegan Responds . CARNIVORE O man vegetarian with lifestyle agrarian, You’ve fallen as prey to a scam! We advise you to eat, every day, ample meat: Fish and beef, pork and chicken and lamb. VEGAN O great busybody, condescending and snotty, Your words are...

. Media You told us lies, ignored our cries. __Your platforms you abused. You cancelled truth; you damaged youth, __And we are not amused. You took big bites from human rights, __Dissenting voices choked. With their decree Docs must agree, __Or licences revoked. But you can’t hide the great divide,...

. Greta's Smorgasbord of Hate I love the pretty trees, the trees love me! They make me dance and sing, they make me shout And sulk and give loud speeches: blah, blah, blah How dare you feed on cow meat and foie gras?! Let Nature live in peace and harmony---...

. Out, out, brief candle! ---Macbeth I am black-dog blue and blinded by the glitzy gaze of stars. Lucent moons will never light __my skyless eye. I am frequently reminded of my fear __of future scars--- when he stills my howling heart __my angst will die... I have wondered at...

. On the Banning of the Word 'Field' by the University of Southern California’s School of Social Work See the related news story here. In Southern California they’ve declared that field’s a word to studiously ignore. It seems that at all costs folk should be spared plantation connotation. Has your...

. Cambridge Dictionary Women, 2040 In 2040 leftist sports fans Realized their greatest joys, With legendary women’s records Smashed by athletes born as boys. Serena Williams’, Brittney Griner’s Records all erased, bar none. Some liberals, long cowed to silence, Rued alone: “What have we done?” . . View from the...

. Shams Shams-i Tabrizi was Rumi’s intimate friend and spiritual mentor. I stayed awake those short midsummer nights When naked druids danced beneath the moon’s Hypnotic glow performing pagan rites And marking stones and trees with sacred runes. Years later, in the vatic Persian sun, I delved into the bright...

. Same Old New Year   I bid adieu. You shuffle out. A new you shimmies in--- A you without the frown and pout, A happy you of zip and clout, And once again I’ve little doubt You’ll make me rich and thin. You’ll bring me zing. You’ll make me sing....

. Continuation You and I are of two discrepant minds: We disagree on all that matters—plus, Our separate brains are not quite sure what kinds Of things they favor, making four of us. The four of us engage in conversations That sound like bickering in closed committee Meetings where doubtful...

. There She Goes When Everyone’s a Woman, No One’s a Woman upon reading the news story here. There she goes, erased from Cambridge pages--- An instant relic wafting on the fringe Of lunacy as sybils, saints, and sages Forewarn of doom and logophiles cringe. There she goes---Eve’s ostracized from...

. In a Soviet Gulag from an oft repeated joke There was a break in the relentless cold And then the guard stepped out for quite a while. Such changes made the prisoners grow bold: Two yelled their thoughts, another cracked a smile. One wanting to impress the others told...

. The 2022 State Dinner Elites come to Washington and dine On lobster harvested in Maine. (They plan To regulate the catch, create a ban, Because enviros claim the fishing line Is killing whales.) Also on the menu: Filet of beef, potatoes, roasted pears, Champagne and caviar, affected airs. Only the best...

. A Right Royal Circus a villanelle  Roll up! Roll up! Come hear the desperate call Of sparkless Markle and her spurned buffoon. With pleas for privacy, they welcome all. They welcome all like flies upon a wall To witness tears---a crocodile monsoon. Roll up! Roll up! Come hear their...

. CBS Has Now Verified CBS says it’s now verified, The laptop Hunter took in for repair. And other breaking news that it’s supplied Is Washington has crossed the Delaware. . . Plan Needed Republicans won’t win elections Till they learn to neutralize The harvesting of mail-in ballots Dems corruptly...

. Grifters With smug, aggressive faux urbanity __They do their worst to seize control. They think it signals perfect sanity __When they adopt a regal role, Expecting us to stroke their vanity, __Lest our good hearts seem dark as coal. We start to question their humanity __When we discern what...

. Check Out Your Church inspired by this article: Queen's former chaplain, others slam 'perverse' Cambridge sermon about 'trans' Jesus: ' Repulsive and shameful' Are the pronouns in the Bible ripe for change Along with gender? Does your pastor pore O’er the e’er increasing epic rainbow range Of sexes for our...

. Pope-Lion by Giuseppe Gioachino Belli (1791-1863)translated from Romanesco by Joseph S. Salemi Before Pope Genga went down to the grottoTo be four slabs of cured ham on the bone,He was thought by everyone in RomeTo be our best luck since the jackpot Lotto. What he did seemed never to...

. FTX & Other Damn Scams If you want to make some money Dangle golden dreams like honey And then claim that you can turn dross into gold. When you claim the future’s sunny Don’t let on you think it’s funny That you don’t believe a thing that they’ve been...

. Clowns Teach Writing Classes Students’ attitudes were dismal; composition skills, abysmal! Desperate to make things better, teachers asked expert go-getters, “Will you please get their attention? What we need’s an intervention, something new-wave, fresh, progressive— something youth will find impressive!” “We will help you,” they asserted. “HEROES!” weary teachers...

. Blake's Tyger Tyger Tyger, burning bright, sorry if I'm impolite: What immortal put a hand to verse we'll never understand? Face it, face it, Mister Blake, 'Tyger' was a big mistake. What good reason could there be for rhyming 'eye' with 'symmetry'? Can a poet e'er endure by changing...

. Cop27---A Sonnetised Summary upon reading the Cop27 VIP jet dinner menu  A swarm of jets belch fumes that blight the blue As contrails stripe the skies of Sharm el-Sheikh, Where greedy gluttons gorge on beasts that moo--- This feast ensures these gasbags take the cake. Their hot and noxious air is rising high Like...

. Hell Rising They’ve come with a purpose: to numb or perturb us __By infecting the already-sick, And with them they bring a more tangible thing: __A nice carrot along with a stick. They live in The Palace of Envy and Malice __And demand that we pay our “fair share”;...

. Think (Ideo)logically Say---friend or foe? What else could people be? … Stop thinking, since it’s useless, and it’s hard. We’ll do your thinking for you---play our card! These glasses will now show you what to see: This world’s in black and white. We’ve gauged its worth. Here’s all our...

. CDC: Save the Planet from Poison CO2!! “We used to think CO2 was a harmless trace gas… How wrong we were!” ---Dr. Dillard “Sparky” Barker, SMFS, The CDC’s Second Most Famous Scientist Your noxious exhalations contain tons of CO2 So Dillard “Sparky” Barker has the newest mask for you....

. Halloween---The New Normal The maskless masses mingle on the street Pooh-poohing overreaching, grouchy rules. The granny-slaying, unvaxxed ogres meet As curtain-twitching witches eye these ghouls From hazmat-suited safety as they fume At murderous monsters milling neath the moon. The spawn of fierce smut-busters fool around. They snigger as they...

. The Three Democrats of the 2020 Election after Shakespeare's Macbeth, Act 4, Scene 1 Scene: Thunder illuminates a 2020 calendar page in an undisclosed conference room where a pot bubbles on an electric stovetop. Enter the Three Democrats. FIRST DEMOCRAT Thrice each democrat will vote. SECOND DEMOCRAT Thrice at...

. The Polls The polls are looking up right now, __But my faith’s not complete, Because no poll can measure how __The Democrats might cheat. . . The Boulder Field The glacial remnant boulder field, __A geological delight. Except a few stones that revealed __Graffiti some jerk had to write....

Playing with Matches "We don’t seek conflict with Russia but we are ready." ---Antony Blinken, March 4, 2022 We don’t seek conflict with Russia but we are ready, make no mistake. The finger that pushes the button will not tremble, the hand will not shake. When pillars of fire crown...