.
To a Cloud
You’re a pillow of marshmallow.
You balloon and bob and billow
As I sprawl beneath the willow
__On the grass.
You’re a swish of whitest feather.
You’re awash with hues of heather.
You’re a whisper of wild weather
__As you pass.
You’re a starlit stratus wonder.
You’re a moon-kissed nimbus under
Luna’s spell before Thor’s thunder
__Wages war.
You’re a splash upon my brolly.
You’re a dash of fuzzy folly.
You’re that woolly wisp of jolly
__I adore.
You’re a ship of stormy cargo
In a surging sea of shadow.
You’re the prelude to a rainbow
__And a dove.
You’re a soul of silver lining
In a hail of wails and whining.
You’re a flash of hope that’s shining
__From above.
You’re a fleecy, fluffy skimmer.
You’re a solar-dappled shimmer
In the sassy-cirrus glimmer
__Of my eye.
You’re my scudding golden glory,
My forever-morphing story
In the tufty territory
__Of the sky.
.
.
Adrift
a villanelle
Above it all, I float beyond the fray.
I fly sky high and surf the sapphire sphere
Where Eros kisses fringes of the day.
I’ve found a way to keep ennui at bay—
I ride the crest of sunset’s cherry cheer.
Above it all, I float beyond the fray.
I breathe the magic of the Milky Way.
I swing from midnight’s crystal chandelier
Where Eros kisses fringes of the day.
I sail where stringless kites and lovers stray
To lunar realms where snoopers disappear.
Above it all, I float beyond the fray.
I frisk above the cloudy shroud of grey,
Beyond the murk where gossips lurk and sneer…
Where Eros kisses fringes of the day.
I flirt where Aphrodite likes to play—
Where searing lips and fingertips draw near…
Above it all, I float beyond the fray
Where Eros kisses fringes of the day.
.
.
Susan Jarvis Bryant has poetry published on Lighten Up Online, Snakeskin, Light, Sparks of Calliope, and Expansive Poetry Online. She also has poetry published in TRINACRIA, Beth Houston’s Extreme Formal Poems anthology, and in Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets in the UK). Susan is the winner of the 2020 International SCP Poetry Competition, and has been nominated for the 2022 Pushcart Prize.
It’s a joy to read your poems, Susan. Lyrical, thoughtful, and entertaining!
Thank you very much, Paul. It was such a joy to write these poems, I’m thrilled the joy rubbed off.
Delightful poems, I particularly like “Adrift”.
Now I have also read a real use of British “brolly”! (I once translated a novel in which I needed synonyms for “umbrella,” but this word never quite worked.)
I think Susan will not mind my quoting another fine use of “brolly” from the recent haiku competition. The poet Stuti Sinha is an Indian woman living in Dubai.
Vibrant brolly tops
paint the bazaar’s bustling streets
veiled by charcoal skies.
Thank you, Margaret. I love this haiku. What a vivid and beautiful image those ‘vibrant brolly tops’ create, and how well ‘brolly’ and ‘tops’ go together… a musical marvel of a pairing. I’m now completely smitten with the word brolly.
Thank you, Stephen. I was very happy to use the word ‘brolly’ again. I used it regularly when I lived in England. It may be the only time I’ve ever used it in a poem… and I’m glad it works. It’s my Mary Poppins moment!
Susan, these poems are both captivating and enchanting. “To a Cloud” (is there a bit of Wordworthian inspiration here?) has me exhaling a sigh of peace and joy with its sweetly innocent parade of imagery and its delightfully, light poetic form. But this poem isn’t all marshmallows and rainbows. It’s a poem that acknowledges the shadows but firmly embraces that “flash of hope” that’s shining from above. It’s an optimistic smile in defiance of an otherwise dreary world.
I like how “To A Cloud” relates to “Adrift.” It is similarly enchanting. This time you compose a villanelle with a cloudily Grecian nod to Eros and Aphrodite and the fulfilling peace of love. I especially like that “midnight chandelier” and lunar realms where snoopers disappear. There is sensuality here but it is not so much a sensual poem as one which describes a very special place which no one can sully or stain, where you can rise above the fray and simply love and be in love. It’s subtle. Now I’d like to hear more about those “searing lips and fingertips…”
Both of these poems are pure bliss.
Brian, swimming in the sheer joy of ‘pure bliss’ is where I love to be. Clouds and those realms beyond are the stress-relieving antidote to the woes of the world. Yes, I’m a sky gazer and I just love the ever-changing scenery up above… those stories in the sky that never fail to catch me by surprise. When I’m not in down-to-earth mode, my head is in the clouds… there’s no in-between for me. I wanted to capture the symbolism of the cloud and you’ve spotted that. There could well be a pinch of Wordsworth in there… I love his poem.
In ‘Adrift’, I wanted to tap into a playful defiance… a little spiciness on the bland. If one cannot achieve it in reality, why not let the imagination run riot… no one can touch what’s in your head, and you’d be surprised what lurks in mine. As for those “searing lips and fingertips…” watch out for part two in the series. 😉
As ever, thank you very much for your perspicacious and entertaining observations… wonderful!
‘To a Cloud’, with its ‘wooly wisp of jolly’, and ‘a splash upon my brolly’, is so delightful to read. I really enjoyed it. And ‘Adrift’ had me ‘floating beyond the fray’, for a while. Thank you for these lovely poems Susan.
Norma, you are most welcome and thank you! That ‘wooly wisp of jolly’ is a favorite line of mine… it had me smiling as I wrote it, so I’m thrilled you picked up on it… and to float beyond the fray is a regular pastime of mine. I’m glad that on this occasion you could join me.
These are splendid, Susan. I don’t know how you do it.
I’m probably drifting too far, but “the snoopers and gossips in “Adrift” make me think of all the virtue signalers in our lives, ready to pounce.
Julian, thank you very much for your astute comment. You are certainly not drifting too far (I love your humor) with your observation. All life’s busy bodies regularly send my eyes and head skyward… sometimes floating above the fray is the only way to go. It’s how I maintain what little sanity I have left.
I love your take on clouds.
It’s hard to do clouds justice, Cheryl, so I’m very happy with your kind comment. Thank you!
Susan,
I enjoyed both of these, full of creative imagery and wordplay. I’m glad to see your more light-hearted side, and happy to float along with you above it all, in such a lovely place.
Anna, thank you very much. It’s about time my lighter side had an airing, and I’m thrilled you were able rise above it all to float along with me… the poet’s place to be when the world is spinning off its axis.
The careful metrical weave of “To a Cloud” deserves some attention. One thing about Susan — she never misses a beat, but she never comes across as tedious. One reason for this is that her diction and imagery are never cutesy-poo or predictable — they are mature, wide-ranging, and unrestricted. This poem uses both British vocabulary (awash, brolly, jolly) and mythological references (Luna and Thor). Another is her skill with alliteration (balloon and bob and billow; whisper of wild weather, surging sea of shadow).
But to address the meter: the first three lines of every strophe start with a heavy stress, but the third line is actually a hendecasyllable that runs over to form a three-syllable bob-line. This gives it a fast-paced movement reminiscent of a Gilbert-and-Sullivan composition. But here it is not used for comic purposes, but simply to express sheer delight and ecstasy.
As for the villanelle, the two repetend lines are exactly the kind of self-contained perception that a really good villanelle demands:
Above it all, I float beyond the fray
Where Eros kisses fringes of the day.
What a profound statement of detachment and peace.
Joe, thank you very much for your fine eye and your appreciation. I always take my poetry seriously and it’s a real privilege to have that fact acknowledged in detail… the beauty and benefit of being on this site. I’m thrilled you enjoyed them, especially the villanelle… I love working with this form.
Susan, your images are delicious! We can all use more of them.
Dame Sally, thank you very much… we can certainly use more of these poems. A healthy dose of escapism is essential. Let’s hope my Muse stays chilled for a while… but, she’s a little feisty so I can’t promise anything. 😉
Glorious sky poems, Susan. They read lightly, but evoke the sense of primacy, majesty, and autonomy we perceive when we contemplate what is above and beyond us. That is especially the case in “To a Cloud,” where you speak not to one cloud, but to whichever one catches your attention for a moment. During my adolescent afternoons, I would occasionally lie on the grass and cloudwatch, because I am convinced each cloud scene is absolutely unique, never to be repeated. Your series of clouds is a high-speed display of many kinds!
Your special rhythms, minimalizing stresses, suit these topics admirably. “To a Cloud” has longer lines of 8 syllables, but only 2 stresses, regularly occurring on the 3rd and 7th syllables. The shorter line of each stanza is an anapest, with one stress at the end of three syllables. Thus the shorter lines have a greater proportion of stress (1/3) than the longer ones (1/4), and with it gently stop the stanza for a breath, before the next stanza races freely forward. You do something similar in “Adrift,” which has 10 syllable lines, with regular stresses on the 2nd, 6th, and 10th syllables. The stress-to-syllable proportion is 3/10. It makes more sense to notice this pattern than try to describe the rhythm in terms of metrical feet. Anyone who wants to try that will need to use rare terminology! Do I need to say I enjoyed both? They must have been a delight to write.
Margaret, thank you very much for affording ‘To a Cloud’ the benefit of your laser eye for metrical detail, especially in the area of stresses and syllables – absolutely fascinating and much appreciated. Both poems were a delight to write and I’m glad the joy is contagious. I’m also thrilled to hear you too have appreciated the wonder of an ever-changing sky. For stress relief and just putting this chaotic world in perspective, I thoroughly recommend an afternoon sprawled on the lawn reading the tales the sky tells… but only if it’s not brolly weather.
Amazing again. How does she do it? Pure genius!
Russel, thank you very much! I don’t know about ‘pure genius’… I may have to reject that one through fear of disappointing you in the future… I’m blushing and smiling, nevertheless.
A lot of alliteration in “To a Cloud,” suggesting one cloud, one word, one stanza gliding and colliding and morphing into another. It makes the poem move, which is what the clouds are doing. You strictly adhere to the metrical pattern with which you started. Almost all your rhymes are perfect, but a few aren’t. How important is that? I don’t know.
Geoffrey, thank you for your comment and close attention to detail. I’m a fan of alliteration when it adds meaning and music to the poem. I like the aural appeal of it when read aloud, especially in fun poetry. I like your cloud/stanza observation with the words, “gliding and colliding and morphing into another. It makes the poem move…” which sums up exactly what I was trying to do with the form I used – fast-paced and ever-changing. I do pay close attention to rhymes and like them to be perfect… most of the time. If it comes to choosing meaning or rhyme, meaning always comes first. I also like a touch of whimsy. I know that I could have put the perfect ‘pillow’ rhyme ending at the opening line in the first stanza… but I chose not to because I much prefer the word order as it stands… I think it also adds to the fun of the piece. As for my ‘cargo/shadow/rainbow’ line… I could say it’s a little bit of stormy upheaval amid the calm and sound terribly professional. But it isn’t. It’s my choice to put meaning above rhyme and those three chosen words were more important to me than consistency. How important rhyme is, is in the eye of the beholder, just like beauty. I say, it’s very important… until it isn’t. Sometimes, just sometimes, perceived imperfections have a beauty all of their own. Thanks again for your interesting comment.
My favorite:
You’re a swish of whitest feather.
You’re awash with hues of heather.
You’re a whisper of wild weather
__As you pass.
Michael, I’m glad you liked this one. I had Scotland in mind when I wrote this. I’ve seen some wonderful clouds in the Highlands that drift down the mountainside and change color just like that… in fact, you can walk through them. They are always rather menacing… to me, at least. Thank you!
Wow, Susan, these are great! I don’t usually see you writing poems about nature, but you’ve done that as well with these as the others. You can take any topic and write a great poem about it, in the perfect form, and these certainly are no exception!
Josh, thank you very much. I love nature and spend many hours basking in its beauty. I always have my camera with me for those magic moments and the coastal plains of Texas are just perfect for all of nature’s little and big surprises… from hummingbird to alligator according to which direction I’m looking in. Because the land is so flat here, it’s almost as if the sky has fallen to earth Chicken Little style. Mike says if your pet dog runs away, you can see it running for two weeks… a great description for the immense sprawl of land with the sky taking up most of the view… it’s beautiful.
I particularly enjoyed the deceptive simplicity of ‘To a Cloud’.
Thanks for the reads, Susan.
Paul, thank you for your observation. ‘Deceptive simplicity’ is a great term when it comes to producing poetry that is fun and accessible. I always think it takes more time to achieve readability… that ease that makes the words melt away, so the images rise from the text to create an experience where one is not distracted by the intricacies of complex linguistics. I think poetry should be accessible to all… it’s essential for one’s equilibrium. The world would be a better place if all poems were accessible. 🙂
Susan, the best cloud poetry since Joni Mitchell, as over here, we scour the skies for clouds shaped like Queens and Corgis to flog off to our rampant tabloid press in this week of madness. Your wordplay and imagery is quite extraordinary. I don’t know how you do it. I hope that one day you will tell us. Thank you again.
Jeff, thank you very much. I’m thrilled you enjoyed my cloud fest. You have made me laugh with those Queen and Corgi clouds… I feel another poem coming on! It is indeed a week of madness, over here too. I was talking to a royalist friend in England yesterday. He said he was utterly sick of the 24/7 coverage. He’s old enough to remember the funeral of King George VI. He said it was a blessing that there was only radio coverage on the day of the funeral and that one could go to the cinema to see it after the event. There’s a fine line between too little and too much… and I think we’ve crossed into the mind-numbing realms of the ridiculous with Queen Elizabeth II.
As for my wordplay and imagery… it’s pure passion, Jeff. I’m besotted. I am very lucky to be married to a man who encourages my romance with words… that’s how I’m able to write so many poems. I have Mike to thank!
Susan, your cloud poems are fittingly uplifting, and the phrasing delightful to read. My favorite line is “I sail where stringless kites and lovers stray…” This line is both original and memorable.
David, thank you very much. I like that line too. We need more kite-flying and romance in today’s world… it would solve a lot of unnecessary angst. I’m glad to have written something uplifting and will try my hardest to steer my Muse in that direction… she’s been a little too outraged of late… but that is her nature, and I’m at her beck and call. 😉
As a kid, I was one of those cloud watchers on a farm in the Midwest. Your two poems reminded me of that affinity for cloud watching in a place where there was not a lot to do, i.e., no television, among other things. Besides the wonderful use of alliteration and masterful use of the villanelle, the fascinating application of words that included British ones made for a pleasant, soothing read!
Roy, thank you very much for this lovely comment. I’m glad you enjoyed my TexLish take on clouds. I’ve lived in Texas for over a decade now, and my British English and American English are melding to create a strange hybrid that is getting out of control. Your words have encouraged me to continue without worrying too much. I am certain others may think differently. I believe clouds are more entertaining than anything on TV these days and more informative than any fearmongering weather station… I’m happy to have taken you back to your cloud-gazing days.
Two more skilfully crafted poems. Thanks, Susan.
David, thank you very much. Your words are always welcome and I’m glad you enjoyed the poems.
To a Cloud… a video
https://rumble.com/v1yhzmk-to-a-cloud.html