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Bardic Bots
Will Shakespeare has been rendered obsolete.
Bill’s quillings are a patriarchal scandal.
His iambs lack that fresh, progressive beat.
Barred from Avon is his current handle.
As lost as Lear, as dead as Desdemona,
His wonder will no longer soar on high.
Now robots can compose, the Swan’s a goner.
His dusty folios have bid goodbye.
They’ve shuffled off like Hamlet and poor Yorick.
Alas, the Big-Tech Bods now canonize
The soulless with a lick of the euphoric.
This cyber-world of literary lies
Builds bots that trot out sonnets minus heart.
Welcome to the Will-free world of Art.
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Out, Damned Bard! Out, I Say!
I want them to guide me—those rhapsodic sages
With noses for poesies to scent empty pages;
My betters of letters, the rhythmic trendsetters,
Those hot sonnet jotters—poetic go-getters;
Word wizards who hex with their shimmering lyrics
Rising from leaves like a lexical phoenix
Imbued with the hues of the ancient trailblazers
Who mingled with muses and mixed with stargazers;
Those crafters of stanzas, Poesque as a raven,
Soaring like swans beyond Stratford-on-Avon
On sunniest couplets that burn tyger-bright
With forests of metaphors freckled with light;
All bold balladeers of the less-traveled road,
Urge me to forge a superlative ode
That rings with a thorn-impaled nightingale’s croon
As smitten owls sing neath a runcible moon.
I’m a wannabe wordsmith in search of a key
To loose the lax laureate lounging in me.
Originally published in Expansive Poetry Online
Originally published in Expansive Poetry Online.
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Susan Jarvis Bryant has poetry published on Lighten Up Online, Snakeskin, Light, Sparks of Calliope, and Expansive Poetry Online. She also has poetry published in TRINACRIA, Beth Houston’s Extreme Formal Poems anthology, and in Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets in the UK). Susan is the winner of the 2020 International SCP Poetry Competition, and has been nominated for the 2022 Pushcart Prize.
Just brilliant! I love all your references to famous poems in the second one.
Thank you very much, Cynthia. I had huge fun writing these!
I am always fascinated with your great lexical facility, such as “quillings.” I am certain no bot will ever replace your magnificent abilities.
Roy, what a lovely comment. Thank you! I hope you’re right about the bots… I was pretty impressed… and more than a little intimidated. AI is forcing me to up my game!
Though the Bard still seems to be alive and kicking on school and uni literature syllabuses, there are worrying warnings from some of the dystopian classics.
In 1984 they had a ‘versificator’ that produced ‘prole feed’ songs ‘without any human intervention whatsoever’.
As for the Bard, I recall in Fahrenheit 451, Shakespeare plays had been simplified, written as prose, and could be read in minutes due to people having such short attention spans.
Two thought-provoking reads.
The Bard is far from safe. There are already many interpretations of his works that are dubious to say the least… but, you’ll be pleased to know I am not referring to cancel-culture in my poems… I’m just having a little light-hearted fun with a topical issue. 🙂
Susan, what delightful poems to honor the English language’s greatest poet and playwright! “Bardic Bots is a fun (albeit slightly scary) spin on the idea of AI taking over Shakespeare’s writing duties since he obviously must be cancelled for being a white patriarchal cisgender male writing in the toxic language of angle-centric colonialism. For me, however, his iambs will never lose their fresh beat. As for artificial intelligence poetry itself… sad to say, some of it is actually better than a lot of contemporary poetry I come across. What does that say about the state of mainstream poetry these days? “Cyber, cyber, learning blight..”
As for your “Out, Damned Bard!” – what a hoot! The language is chewy and delicious with assonance and internal rhyme. I especially like “Those hot sonnet jotters” and the “Word wizards who hex with their shimmering lyrics.” I especially love all the references to some of our most iconic poetry, each allusion like finding a little Easter egg in a garden of delights. I’m especially tickled by your “runcible moon.” As for being a “laureate” be careful what you wish for. Most of them these days are politicians and social justice warriors who don’t have a clue how to use rhyme or meter. And your incredible work is anything but “lax.” So lay on, MacDuff!
Brian, I always look forward to your comments and this one has me nodding in agreement and smiling at the same time. “Cyber, cyber, learning blight..” says it all… perfectly!
I had so much fun writing “Out, Damned Bard!…” and it thrills me to see you have spotted all the little intricacies that makes the creative process such a joy. My use of “runcible” made me laugh… I wanted the reader see Lear’s loving couple without using too many words… “runcible” made it all possible.
Thank you, Brian!!
Ha ha ha!!! – To loose the lax laureate lounging in me. – your last lines kill me!!! There’s the penumbra of the word ‘laxative’ in this – and as for the alliteration, well??? Brilliant.
James, I am roaring with laughter… my ex-lax Muse has blasted into action… watch this space! LOL
Such enjoyable poetry Susan. Thank you. I am in awe of your poetic vocabulary. No robot could ever come close to your creativity.
Norma, thank you very much indeed for your lovely comment. It’s always great to hear from you.
These are an excellent follow up to Evan’s Chat GPT quiz.
They are indeed, Cheryl… excellent timing on Evan’s part.
Susan, I have gone from massive fan to being completely awestruck after reading these. What a great treat on a cold, wet day over here. Your verbal gymnastics have no limit. AI will never, ever beat this. Thank you so much and happy George’s day.
Jeff, I hope you had a terrific St. George’s Day with a Dragon-slaying bash down the local. My verbal gymnastics are doing double somersaults now AI cogs are churning out odes… I will admit to feeling a tad nervous. I’m over the moon you enjoyed the poems. Thank you for your continued support!
Susan, “lax laureate” — seriously? IMO – the poet laureate of the universe is currently residing in Texas and happily married to a plumber (poet) named Mike Bryant. The one thing I can’t see AI ever managing to replicate is the scrumptious sarcasm oozing from delightful rants such as these 2 dandies. You’re literally literarily irreplaceable, young lady.
Wow Mark, thank you! I only hope you’re right. It will be a sad day when the poetry scene is trampled on by robots… here at the SCP we’re doing all in our power to prevent AI from taking over… it’s good to have you on the team!
Delightful Susan. A brace of bracing winds from the flapping of your bardic wings.
There’s a version of the Merchant of Venice touring the UK.
Adapted to 1936 Brick Lane with a woman in the title role. You may have heard of it
https://www.rsc.org.uk/the-merchant-of-venice/
This is a fine idea as long as the originals are kept alive.
They glint and shimmer and shimmy in you. Keep going.
Damian, thank you very much for your complimentary and intriguing comment. What a thoroughly amazing setting for ‘The Merchant of Venice’, and how delightfully odd – a female Shylock played by the talented Tracy-Ann Oberman. I’m not a fan of messing with Shakespeare’s plays to an absurd degree, but this has fired my interest.
I used to go the Petticoat and Brick Lane markets on Sunday mornings in the 70s and 80s with my dad, and I loved every minute… the puppies for sale, the apple fritters, the fruit and veg stalls, the gaudy fashions, the fake perfumes lol. I’ve just looked it up on the net and it’s gone all posh… when did that happen?!
I hope the play is an unwoke success!
Before the specter of AI, they used to say that if you got enough chimps to bang randomly on typewriters, one of them would eventually turn out a Shakespearean sonnet or even one of his plays. Well … maybe, but with the proper programming AI stands a better chance of doing such a thing. But then, the credit should probably go to the programmer. Who programmed you?
C.B., I love this comment! I think I’m unprogrammable… I’m dubious of most data and often churn out information that is beyond anyone’s comprehension… perhaps I’m malfunctioning. 🙂
No. You are functioning perfectly, but you are not a computer. I don’t know what you are other than an important piece in the puzzle. So many of us, Susan, are quite happy to be the recipients of your poetic largesse.
Susan your poetic style is so distinctly unique that I doubt AI could ever copy you, much less out-do you.
“All bold balladeers of the less-traveled road,
Urge me to forge a superlative ode
That rings with a thorn-impaled nightingale’s croon
As smitten owls sing neath a runcible moon.”
After I looked up runcible, and realized that it was a nod to another “bold balladeer”, the title of the poem began to make sense to me upon reading the last two lines.
AI will never be able to match your level of poetic creativity because your creative well spring comes from being alive and genuine. Artificial Intelligence, with its impressive computing power, is bound to be dead on arrival because it is only a database of artifacts from the past.
Yael, I am thrilled you enjoyed my poem – thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. I am particularly drawn to your heartening observation that: “AI will never be able to match your level of poetic creativity because your creative well spring comes from being alive and genuine.” – beautiful words. I’m especially encouraged by them after reading some of the AI poetry… while I firmly believe no AI can produce that je ne sais quoi; that something other a human being has to offer, it is a lot nearer the mark in producing passable poetry than I ever imagined it could be. We are living in scary times, and I think we would do well to embrace the gifts our Creator has given us before this spiritual aspect of our nature is surpassed by the cold and soulless. I always appreciate your take, Yael – thanks again.
Susan, I have to agree with the others: the words “lax” and “wannabe” are hardly accurate. You’re easily the best poet we’ve got, and no other publication I’ve seen shows anyone with even a tenth of your talent. It would not surprise me in the least to learn that you’re the best poet in the English-speaking world.
The Shakespearean references build up well to the pun “Will-free,” and the second with its references to classic poems in general is a lot of fun. I grinned from ear to ear at the line, “As smitten owls sing neath a runcible moon.” Your sound repetition techniques shine forth as usual.
Well done, as always!
Josh, I am over the runcible moon that you enjoy my poetry and I’m basking in your amazing words… but, I know I’m only as good as my last poem, and I know that the beauty of my poetry is in the eye of the reader. I will admit to being thrilled to have readers on this site who appreciate my efforts… especially with my first two books coming out very soon. 😉
Josh, thank you very much indeed!
How terrifying to think that AI could start writing poems.
When will this rotten atmosphere ever be lifted?
I suppose it all depends on what side of the fence you’re sitting. For some AI is the only way. Some will applaud the cold, calculating skill of a data-spewing robot in place of those troublesome, planet blighting humans. For others, the spirit and soul of God’s creations breathed into words is the only way… and never the twain shall meet. The trouble is AI draws on poetry from times when people were given a classic education. Because today’s students are frequently robbed of truth and beauty, the poems produced by a robot may well trump the efforts of today.