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Home Poetry Humor

‘Celestial Potatoes’: A Thanksgiving Poem by Mary Jane Myers

November 28, 2024
in Humor, Poetry
A A
18

.

Celestial Potatoes

Thanksgiving morning, poised I stand:
near cutting board, honed knife in hand.
My self-taught method must suffice:
ten pounds of tubers, peel and dice,
pot-boil, purée with whipping cream.
They grace the table, reign supreme,
snow-white, and soft as forest-moss,
upstaging bird and cranberry sauce.

If Heaven’s a perpetual feast,
rare morsels for the blest deceased,
then angels proffer Plato’s Form:
Ideal Potatoes, fluffy-warm.
And if Hell means unceasing wrack,
cruel demons take a fiendish tack:
mashed spuds served by a Ganymede,
like Tantalus’ fruit, appear, recede.

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.

.

Mary Jane Myers resides in Springfield, Illinois. She is a retired JD/CPA tax specialist. Her debut short story collection Curious Affairs was published by Paul Dry Books in 2018.

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Comments 18

  1. Julian D. Woodruff says:
    11 months ago

    Great! Your poem’s almost as delicious as those mashies you sing.

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Julian
      Apologies for this late response. Thank you for your favorable comment.
      I love the word “mashies”–I’ll add it to my cache-of-words!
      Most sincerely
      Mary Jane

      Reply
  2. Roy Eugene Peterson says:
    11 months ago

    Happy Thanksgiving. You must use heavy cream in your celestial potatoes! Your word choices were wonderful, as well as the rhymes!

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Roy Apologies for this late reply. Thank you for your praise of my poem. These little ditties are tricky to write!
      Most sincerely
      Mary Jane

      Reply
  3. Mary Gardner says:
    11 months ago

    Evoking the taste of rich, savory mashed potatoes, this poem takes the reader straight into your kitchen.
    Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Dear Mary
      Apologies for this late response. Thank you for your favorable comment on my poem.

      Merry Christmas!
      Most sincerely
      Mary Jane

      Reply
  4. Paul A. Freeman says:
    11 months ago

    I’m tempted to eschew pasta and mash up some spuds tomorrow, MJ.

    What a treat of a poem.

    Though somewhat sacrilegious (in view of your wonderful poem), find below a link to one of the first ads for instant mashed potato:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4MTgjNkfyI

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Paul Apologies for this late response. Thank you for your praise. The ad is hilarious. At the time, housewives were so grateful for this new time-saver product, almost as handy as cream-of-mushroom soup! Pasta on Thanksgiving? Not in my family!

      Most sincerely
      Mary Jane

      Reply
  5. Cheryl A Corey says:
    11 months ago

    I wouldn’t say that they upstage the turkey, but I’m looking forward to a generous helping of whipped potatoes, topped with a nice slab of butter & gravy. Thanks be to those dastardly white Conquistador colonizers for bringing them back to Europe from South America!

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Dear Cheryl
      Apologies for my late response. Thank you for your whimsical comments. My favorite Thanksgiving dish is the stuffing, smothered in turkey gravy! The Conquistadors were turning Peru inside out, looking for gold. They found something better: potatoes!

      Reply
  6. Joseph S. Salemi says:
    11 months ago

    What a great poem on a simple subject! And the division is perfect — the first stanza on the luscious recipe, and the second a philosophical/mythological meditation on the same: Plato, Ganymede, and Tantalus.

    Like your potatoes, it’s perfectly done!

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Joseph–

      Apologies for my late response. Thank you so much for your praise.

      Joseph, I have just finished a prosody class with James Matthew Wilson. We wrote 11 original poems and submitted a “chapbook” to him. He insists on perfect iambs. If we use rhyme, it has to be exact rhyme. He uses your poems “Laocoon in Hades” and “Jove’s Apologia to Juno for His Infidelity” as examplars of dramatic monologues on classical themes. The class agreed unanimously that your “Laocoon” poem is technically superior even to Tennyson’s “Ulysses.” One participant however objected to the phrase “serpentine pollution”–a phrase which I had highlighted as particularly interesting and felicitous. Love, love, love that delicious phrase! More wondrous even than perfect mashed potatoes!

      Most sincerely
      Mary Jane

      Reply
  7. Margaret Coats says:
    11 months ago

    Delicious dish with classical garnish, Mary Jane! Thank Heaven for the potatoes and for the preparer.

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Dear Margaret
      Apologies for this late response. Thank you for your praise and encouragement!

      Most sincerely
      Mary Jane

      Reply
  8. Isabella says:
    11 months ago

    Your potatoes do sound heavenly! A beautifully delicious poem. Happy Thanksgiving

    Reply
    • Mary Jane Myers says:
      10 months ago

      Dear Isabella
      Apologies for this late response. Thank you for reading and commenting favorably on my “silly ditty.”

      May you have a wonderful Christmas!

      Most sincerely
      Mary Jane

      Reply
  9. James Cooney says:
    9 months ago

    That poem is almost as good as your homemade mashed potatoes!

    Reply
  10. Mary Jane Myers says:
    9 months ago

    James
    Thank you!

    (Aunt) Mary Jane

    Reply

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