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Home Poetry Humor

‘Ode to the Lats’ by Connie Phillips

December 13, 2018
in Humor, Poetry
A A
18

 

Oh Lat, dear Lat, where art thou at?
Methinks thou seem a bit too flat…
On Superman, and blokes like that,
Your rippling mass is no doormat!

With Arnold, Dwayne the Rock, and Hulk,
The goal has been to build more bulk:
No pain no gain—don’t sit and sulk,
To suffer is to see results!

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Latissimus, Latissimus,
You surely have our backs, and thus
To stretch and strengthen is a must.
No weight is e’er superfluous!

Latissimi are where it’s at…
Alas, my lats are none but fat!

 

Connie Phillips is a former English teacher and editor living in Massachusetts.

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Comments 18

  1. Joe Tessitore says:
    7 years ago

    Very funny indeed, and now I’m off to the gym.

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      Thanks, Joe! And glad it inspired you 🙂

      Reply
  2. Amy Foreman says:
    7 years ago

    This made me chuckle, Connie. Thanks for sharing with us!

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      Thanks, Amy!

      Reply
  3. James A. Tweedie says:
    7 years ago

    “My lat, where art thou at?” Alas, my Lat up and left and returned home to Riga. Thanks for starting my day off with a smile.

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      haha! Glad you liked it 🙂

      Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      haha! Glad you liked it, James 🙂

      Reply
  4. Steven Shaffer says:
    7 years ago

    Nicely done!

    As a former personal trainer and body-builder wannabe, I can definitely relate!

    One suggestion: Wide-grip weighted pull-ups! 🙂

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      Thanks, Steven! Glad you liked it — and thanks for the tip 🙂

      Reply
  5. C.B. Anderson says:
    7 years ago

    Should I then now expect a poem from someone extolling ventral, rather than dorsal, parts of the human (especially the female) body? I certainly hope so:
    Expanded pecs
    That bend our necks.

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      Sounds like you’re already on your way with that one, C.B. !!

      Reply
  6. connie phillips says:
    7 years ago

    Thank you, Amy!

    Reply
  7. Mark Stone says:
    7 years ago

    Connie, Hello. The word “lats” in the title and in the last line is clearly plural. This suggests to me that “Lat” in line 1 is singular. If “Lat” is singular, then should “seem” be “seems”? Apart from this pesky nitpicking, I think the poem is clever and well-written. Thank you for sharing it.

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      Mark, thanks for your response—and no feedback is ever “pesky”! But here in line 2, i think “seem” works because it goes with the word before it, “thou,” which is just an old form of “you.” So basically it’s saying “you seem” … Anyway, glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Reply
  8. David Watt says:
    7 years ago

    Connie, you have taken a weighty subject and written a clever piece of light humor.

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      Thanks for the “punny” praise, David!

      Reply
  9. Leonard Dabydeen says:
    7 years ago

    Read the poem twice. Humorous and nice. Tried to read it loud. Didn’t feel proud.

    Reply
    • connie phillips says:
      7 years ago

      Sweet!! Thank you, Leonard 🙂

      Reply

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