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Home Poetry Culture

‘Reality Check’ by James A. Tweedie

February 5, 2021
in Culture, Humor, Poetry
A A
15

.

We can “Build Back Better” if we choose “Truth Over Lies.”
What these slogans promise lead us to a big surprise.
When the new administration’s promises come true,
This is what we’ll get when what they say is what they do:

* * *

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Here’s a happy poem with a smiley-face attached;
Happy as an itch that goes away once it’s been scratched.
Yellows, pinks and blues drift past like helium balloons;
Every new-born baby’s mouth contains two silver spoons.

Everybody owns a house that has an extra room;
No one ever litters so there’s no need for a broom.
Congressmen and Congresswomen never tell a lie;
Everybody goes to heaven if and when they die.

Birthday cake for breakfast and nobody gains a pound;
Money grows on trees and everything that’s lost is found.
Education’s free at Harvard, Yale, and MIT.
Everybody gets to vote, no need for an ID.

No one kneels at football games because the world’s at peace;
Even in Chicago which no longer needs police.
Nobody is homeless, no one smokes or uses drugs.
U.S. companies now make and export Persian Rugs.

People now commute to work on both the moon and Mars;
Gas has been replaced by all-electric trucks and cars.
Temperatures are falling and the Arctic ice is thick,
No one wears a mask because nobody’s ever sick.

Healthcare’s offered free to everyone to meet their needs;
Mexicans who cross the border all have PhDs.
No one ever disagrees because it’s not allowed.
People can believe in anything except for God.

Equal opportunity’s replaced by equal outcome.
Open trade with China is both subsidized and welcome.
“1619” spearheads race-based public education,
Emphasizing every sin committed by our nation.

Redistributing the wealth will cost us all most dearly.
One-Percenters’ income will be taxed by half, or nearly.
Taxes on the Middle Class will also soon skyrocket,
Money that will surely line some special interest’s pocket.

BLM, the news, and social media take pride in
Doing what they did to elect President Joe Biden,
Everything is better now, Utopia is spawning.
With the rising tide they celebrate a new age dawning.

Those who disagree are labeled “traitors” and “seditious,”
“Fascist pigs,” “supremacists,” “deplorables,” “malicious.”
You’re a racist Nazi if you don’t do what they tell you.
If you aren’t agreeable, they’ll grab your tail and bell you.

* * *

Don’t believe in promises grandiloquently spoken;
Don’t accept that all is well when all you see is broken;
Don’t believe all that you’re told, be guilty of free thinking.
Stand for truth and liberty, help keep the ship from sinking.

.

.

James A. Tweedie is a recently retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He likes to walk on the beach with his wife. He has written and self-published four novels and a collection of short stories. He has several hundred unpublished poems tucked away in drawers.

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Comments 15

  1. Gail Root says:
    5 years ago

    Thank you!

    Reply
  2. Joe Tessitore says:
    5 years ago

    Brilliant, James – simply brilliant (and rather funny too!).

    Reply
  3. Lorraine Rizzuto says:
    5 years ago

    Well said!!

    Reply
  4. C.B. Anderson says:
    5 years ago

    In the stanzas sandwiched between the first and the last, James, you provide an exhaustive litany of the elements of the new “reality” where any kind of fact-checking is strongly discouraged. The first and last stanzas together, by themselves, would have made a nice enough poem, but would have forced the reader to fill in the details. You can always be relied upon to exercise the uncommon measure of common sense you possess.

    Reply
    • James A. Tweedie says:
      5 years ago

      C.B., The hardest thing about writing this poem was forcing myself to stop adding stanzas. The thing could easily have been twice as long with such things as:

      Antifa isn’t organized, it’s a philosophy,
      So no one is to blame for burning down your property.

      Like Brian, writing the poem made me laugh, before I cried, too.

      Reply
      • C.B. Anderson says:
        5 years ago

        Right, James. I should have written “nearly exhaustive.” Nobody knows yet the extent of the abuses we will have to undergo in the next four years under this sock-puppet Presidency. Until they shut us down forever, all we can do is stand up for the truth (as we see it) and hope for a condign reckoning (as God sees it).

        Reply
  5. BRIAN YAPKO says:
    5 years ago

    This poem made me laugh. Until it made me cry. Well done!

    Reply
  6. Norma Okun says:
    5 years ago

    “Reality Check” by Mr. Tweedie. I could not find one line that was true.

    Good writing about bad government with the oily lies. Offering people things they will never get. Your poem was funny. I like the line about the baby born with two spoons.

    Reply
    • James A. Tweedie says:
      5 years ago

      Speaking of two silver spoons in newborn babies, a Congressional Bill was introduced yesterday that would have the Federal Government open an “American Opportunity Account” for every baby born with an initial government deposit of a $1,000 bond to accrue at 3% per year to be followed by an additional $3,000 deposit each year until the child turns 18-years old–on a sliding scale, of course, depending on family income. Perhaps vision of two silver spoons was too modest.

      Reply
      • Gail Root says:
        5 years ago

        So the most unfortunate and helpless among us will become more attractive victims . . . nice! That’s very well considered. Lack of morals is a bigger problem than lack of opportunity, and the government is never going to be able to address that.

        Reply
      • Norma Okun says:
        5 years ago

        It won’t happen unless they crossed the border and committed crimes.

        Reply
  7. Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
    5 years ago

    You are most certainly helping to keep the free-thinking ship from sinking with this tour de force of an admirably crafted poem with a hard-hitting message. I love the excellent employment of humor to drive home exactly how ridiculous today’s political quest for “perfection” has become. Would you believe, I’ve written a poem on much the same subject with exactly the same title? We appear to be looking at life through exactly the same poetic lens. 🙂

    Reply
    • Gail Root says:
      5 years ago

      When do we get to read it?

      Reply
      • Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
        5 years ago

        Gail, the jury is still out on whether or not to publish… it’s a tad on the wild side with an adult theme… it may have to be censored. lol

        Reply
  8. David Watt says:
    5 years ago

    James, you have presented your spot-on message with the detail of a
    prosecutor and an evident panache.
    The line which encapsulates your message best for me is:
    ‘Don’t accept that all is well when all you see is broken’

    Reply

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